Do you owe it to yourself to take care of yourself?

Laura Soter, a philosopher, and Fan Yang, a psychologist, ask whether we can wrong ourselves, for instance by neglecting our health or potential. Philosophers disagree: some argue morality is about how we treat other people, while Kant and Confucian thinkers treated duties to oneself as central. In the authors' own studies, most US adults (over 85% in the first) said they have obligations to themselves even when no one else is affected, and acts that risk harm to oneself, such as neglecting mental health, were judged obligations rather than mere preferences. They note a trade-off: feeling obligated may motivate self-care, but it may also add guilt and shame, or make people harsher toward those who struggle with mental illness or addiction.

Takeaways

Suggested applications, adapted from the essay:

1. Sort duty from preference. Ask whether a self-care habit protects you from real harm or is just something you'd enjoy.
2. Watch for 'owe it to yourself' guilt. If a wellness goal feels like a moral failing when you miss it, that may be shame rather than motivation.
3. Keep compassion for others and yourself. Struggling to look after yourself isn't evidence of bad character.