My Emotion is My Choice

Sadhguru asks, "What happens within you, why is it determined by somebody else?" and calls an inner life that depends on other people the worst form of slavery. He contrasts chasing the fruit, the happiness you try to get from a person or situation, with tending the root, your own inner state, and warns that squeezing joy out of someone only works until they run dry. In his view, love, joy and peace are qualities you become rather than things you get from others, which makes them a personal project rather than a social one. Drawing on his Inner Engineering approach, he suggests creating some space between yourself and your reactions, so you can be at ease without any outside stimulus, and moving from the pursuit of happiness to the expression of joy.

Making your emotions your own

Suggested ways to try it, adapted from the talk, with where to find each part:

1. Tend the root, not the fruit. When you catch yourself waiting for someone to make you happy, ask what you could do for your own inner state instead. (51:57)
2. Express joy instead of chasing it. Chasing happiness keeps you focused on what's missing; expressing joy starts from what's already there, whatever others are doing. (54:39)
3. Treat joy as a quality, not a prize. Notice what puts your body, mind and emotions in a pleasant state, and look after that yourself. (55:27)
4. Don't use people as crutches. Enjoy the people you love without making your well-being hostage to what they do or whether they're around. (57:19)
5. Create a little space. Sit for a few minutes with nothing to do and nothing coming in, and notice the gap between what happens and how you react. (45:34 and 1:48:38)